Sigh, i feel totally like a failure currently.
I'm not performing up to standard.
Yeah, the class may think tht I'm smart (which I'm obviously not) and I'm performing well, from the result of chemistry, but please. Stop and think.
I BLOODY GOT A TUTOR FOR CHEM TOO.
Therefore aren't I supposed to fking do well? And what I mean by well?
A1.
I'd say. I feel like shit when I see those people. People who doesn't have any tutor to guide them yet performing better then me.
People whom parents aren't investing as much in them as me.
People who gt good grades purely by their own effort.
When I see these people, I feel inferior.
I wonder, will it be better if my parents got them as their child instead of me.? Cause... I'm certainly so much lousier then them.
Feel like I totally let my parents down.
Feel like all their efforts are wasted.
Now I feel guilty when they treat me well.
When they gimme things.
Like what my dad always did.
Why aren't I perfoming and repaying them
Look at the others, they've got no tutor. They didn't even spend a single shit $$ of their parents, unlike me. Mf.
I'm sucha let down!!!!
Fk my reuslts seriously.
And I just took my tution fees from my dad just now..
Haven't told mum my results especially english.. Didn't have the courage too, anyway..
And I recalled this.
Me: mummy! I got my emath result alr. I maintained my a1!! ( was all excited)
Mum: orh okay. You ought to get a1 what, since you hve a math tutor.


Yeah..
Sometimes,
I wonder,
If it better if I didn't have a tutor..
Will my parents appreciate my hardwork?
Sigh.
Honestly.
I'm fking tired alr.